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Shes 15. I caught her boyfriend here and made him leave. This was the second time.

She and I got into an argument after I made him leave. She then settled down and went to her room. I went in to check on her and saw that she left out her window.

I called the cops and they confirmed her boyfriend is also a runaway. He’s 16.

I’m so scared. I am supposed to be sleeping and getting ready to go to work tomorrow and I can’t even function thinking about the dangers she could be in. I don’t know what else to do right now. I’m not okay.

Oh goodness how frightening.
Prayers and mojo you hear from her soon and that she returns home.

Also sending mojo.

I suggest telling your boss you're dealing with this.

Prayers for her safe return.

The issue is if he’s not a good guy and you try to shield her from him, the more she will want to be with him.

Get her home. Get her counseling.

She’s "in love" and just not maybe seeing the reality of it all. Some girls are just attracted to that bad boy image.

No advice, but sending (((hugs))) and mojo.

So sorry you're going through this! 15 and 15-year olds have grand ideas of how grown-up they are, but in the end most realize they can't make it out there without their parents. I hope she comes home today, or that you hear from her.

Thank you all so much ♥️
I let my job know and worked from home for about three hours and called it. I barely slept and had a lot of emotions throughout. I got in touch with the boyfriend’s mom. She sent her son a message and got him to finally answer his phone so we got to talk to him. My daughter is refusing to speak but we’ve been on speaker so she can hear me too. They said they’re in a house and "safe". They don’t want to come home. I’ll be checking in and trying to get them (or at least the boyfriend for now) to open up a bit more so we can see if we can get them to let us know where they are and allow us to get them.

Sigh. Teens can be so hard. The dangers they can put themselves in are extreme and they’re still so immature to fully comprehend that.

It seems it’s a scenario where she’s wanting to "save" her boyfriend and to be with him. His mom said he’s run away three times now and he usually has stories about how miserable home life is for him. Daughter feels for him and wants to help. This time he ran away to here and when I kicked him out for the second time she opted to go with him.

Im exhausted. Glad they’re, or at least he is communicating though.

Thank you all so much for your support.

Oh my so overwhelming.
Any.cuamce you can convince them to come back to your home and allow him to stay but in a separate bedroom?

Safety is key and making sure they aren't using drugs that are dangerous?

Giving space nut having boundaries simply to keep them safe may be a good option.

His mom and I actually gave them this option but they didn’t take it 😕 we both felt the same way, that we would rather them be somewhere safe.

Maise,

Any updates? How are you doing?

Oof, I figured out the house she was at. My son arranged for her to go stay with him so we made it to where we got her and took her to where my son lives. This just happened this evening - it’s past midnight here. I have no idea who those people are that she was with. I am so glad she’s out and somewhere I know. She’s not home yet bc she’s still refusing but that’s totally fine as long as she’s not with strangers.

Well at least she is safe.
Glad you got to a solution. Baby steps but hopefully you can get her into therapy to give her a safe place to discuss this stuff wo scaring you half to death.

Hi Maise, I’m sorry you are going through this. It sounds overwhelming. From what you have shared it seems like you are doing everything well - offering them the option to stay with you, finding them a more reasonable option at your son’s place, checking in with your own needs. And it sounds like you have a great understanding of what is going on - wanting to "save" him, emotions outpacing reason at this age, being worried that she doesn’t understand the danger she is potentially exposed to. So I’m just offering encouragement that it seems like you are doing really well in a tough situation.

I’ve never had anything that dramatic, but one of my kids became infatuated with a really troubled child when they were both 13. The girl was cutting (my daughter started cutting), told my daughter about suicide attempts, sexual assault, eating disorders etc. I wanted that girl out of my daughter’s life! But I could see that my daughter was just head over heels infatuated, so forbidding her from being at our house or forbidding her from seeing the girl outside of school would have been counterproductive. So she was welcome at our house, whenever my daughter mentioned that her friend her about assault or suicide attempts I would encourage her to tell her to get help and give her relevant numbers, I got my daughter into therapy for cutting, etc. It took a long time but eventually my daughter got sick of hearing her complain without getting real help. I had to rest on the good previous parenting I had done to know they she would eventually be sensible, and be ready for scary things that might happen along the way.

I have other examples of not great parenting but that won’t help you :)

Take care of yourself and if you would like I will add your daughter to my SI prayer list.

[This message edited by Pippin at 4:58 PM, Thursday, July 3rd]