SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not sure where to put this.
I’ve caught my husband messaging other women many times.
The first time this happened he was sexting an ex fling of his, who sent me screenshots of their chat via facebook (how I discovered it all). I am going to call her A.
It then became a cycle that like once a year i would find out he was inappropriately messaging someone (not A, just random people). He would cry. Beg for forgiveness. Go to therapy. He then changed his sim, said he would start again.
Then things settled down and we were at the towns fiestas where we live (I live in Spain).
A few weeks passed and I got the urge to check his phone. I looked and there was a conversation with A. I couldn’t quite believe it as I presumed she was long gone. In this conversation, they were saying how good it was to see each other at the fiestas. They weren’t sexual but there were clearly enjoying catching up and chatting. Every couple days or so one of them would message ‘hi, how are you?’ And they would chat.
I was livid. I showed the messages to him and he told me ‘I haven’t done anything’. First thing to leave his mouth. He kept it from me that he was messaging her, which to me is something. I was fuming. I also discovered he had a secret instagram account which he coincidentally couldn’t remember the password to, and was liking her photos of her in underwear.
We somehow carry on.
Then he is sitting on the sofa next to me sexting another woman!! I asked who he was messaging and he quickly closed the conversation down and got all shifty. He finally confessed…but I had to wrestle his phone off him.
I didn’t fully forgive him after that time. I had my guard up and I knew at this point I can’t trust him but we have kids, so I wanted to make it work. I went to therapy and also told him what I need from him to trust him (no secrets, no lying, open communication).
Fast forward, on Sunday I discovered that A got back in touch with him and he had engaged and spoken to her, asking how she is. And then deleted that conversation and messaged her a couple of days later to ask how she is. He saved her number as X. I discovered it, though he didn’t get defensive or lie that time. He straight up told me.
I’ve been adamant I want to separate. Last night was the first time I’ve been OK to talk to him. I told him I was over all this and he said he wanted to let me know that A had messaged him on Monday evening but he had called her to tell her to stop messaging and that he didn’t want to hear from her again.
I struggled to trust him again after the last time. It didnt come back. So I feel it’s now completely lost, maybe forever? Without trust, what do we have?
Any advice for me??